


Forbidden Fruit

by bugstories



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, F/F, Lots of Sex Toys, WIP, but also plot and I guess fluff?, smut at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-04-24 20:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19180915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugstories/pseuds/bugstories
Summary: Eve is working as a journalist for a local newspaper. She is also going through a divorce and has been sexually frustrated for years.Oksana has a sex shop.Do I really have to say more? I guess it's clear where this is going.[That AU I always wanted to write]





	1. Two years?

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in years, oh god. But it feels good and I finally feel like my head is in the right place again. I blame it on this damn Jodie Comer obsession. Anyhow, let me know if you'd like to read more of this story. It'll probably have six chapters, but you never know. The characters usually develop a mind of their own so it might as well turn out to be twice as long *shrugs*
> 
> Oh and one more thing - I think this ship doesn't actually need AUs because they are super unique and have it all, but then again i love AUs and I hate this hiatus, so... I don't think I'll be able to do the characters 100% justice because the setting is so different, but if you can see them in there, somewhere, I'm okay.  
> Have fun :)

"TWO YEARS?! You have got to be kidding me??!", Elena bursts out - earning herself a glare by Eve who is looking around nervously.

"Perhaps you could be a little bit louder, Elena, I think the old gentleman with the hearing aids in the back corner couldn't quite understand you", Eve hisses, slipping further down her chair as if she were about to hide underneath the table.

Elena is still shaking her head in disbelief. "But you've only been separated for a _year_. Don't tell me you and Niko haven't shagged _once_ during that last year of your marriage. There must have been some hate sex at least? Or, I don't know, boring vanilla sex on Sunday afternoons?"

"I never said we haven't been- " she whispers, "... _intimate_." Elena rolls her eyes at Eve's choice of words. "But, well, I just didn't... I mean, it's not that big of a deal now, is it?"

"What about masturbation then? Eve, for Christ's sake!" Elena sounds almost desperate now.

Eve only shrugs and takes another a sip of her vanilla milkshake while focusing on her purple straw. _Color of sexual frustration_.

"Come on, Eve, I am your best friend."

"Co-worker!"

"Your best co-worker. You can talk to me about these kinds of things. I am just worried about you, that's all. I mean, you're what, 45?"

"...six", Eve mutters, the purple straw still in her mouth.

"Well, whatever, you're not 80 - and even if you were, I don't think that'd be a fair excuse not to have orgasms anymore. I can't even go a day without getting off at least _once_ , Jesus."

Eve is rolling her eyes now, trying to slurp the last bits out of her glass. 

"I don't really miss it", she says after a while. "I mean, work has been quite time consuming, it's not like -"

"Erm, excuse me," Elena interrupts her. "You're working for the _Local Guardian_ , not for the New York Times. Surely writing about the monthly Tea Dances in Redbridge couldn't have been too time consuming to get a little action every now and then."

"Writing about elderly people enjoying a lively social afternoon is definitely not a turn on!", Eve defends herself and lets out a deep sigh. "I don't know, Elena. I'm just so... _bored_. Even the thought of doing... _that_... bores me."

Eve can see the pity on Elena's face and wonders how the hell they ended up having this stupid conversation in the first place.

Suddenly Elena frowns and then that frown turns into a smirk and Eve does not like it, but she also knows that she's going to be entirely helpless because Elena always gets what she wants.

"I'm sorry, but as your best co-worker, I do not accept it."

"Are you offering your services?", Eve jokes and Elena seems to be considering it.

"I actually prefer men, but would you be interested? I mean, are you into that? That would explain _a lot_ , you know?", Elena ponders.

"What? No! I mean, I don't know, I've never tried it, but... no", Eve stutters, hating the fact that she can't be cool for once. When exactly had she become such a prude? She did have quite a wild phase in college... and sex with Niko had been good once. Or, well, satisfying enough. Not the best sex she'd ever had, but that's not what marriage was about, right? Sex was important, but it wasn't everything. There were other things that were more important. Trust. Love. Loyalty. ... Then again, perhaps they _should_ have worked on their sex life. Maybe it could have saved them. Maybe Niko wouldn't have turned into a roommate instead of a husband. God. He had bored her so much.

"Would you try it though? Are there any women you fancy? Like, I don't know, celebrities? Actresses? I would totally make out with Jennifer Aniston if I had the chance, I don't even know why I find her so hot, but I used to be _obsessed_ with her", Elena gushes.

"I don't know...", Eve replies slowly. There are actresses she finds very attractive. Doesn't every woman have a certain fascination with other beautiful women though? "Scarlett Johansson is pretty I guess."

"You guess", Elena snorts.

"Yeah. Uma Thurman in Kill Bill was hot, too... Or Jennifer Garner in Alias."

Elena chuckles. "Blonde assassins and secret agents with multiple identities - noted. Maybe there's a dating app for that kind of kink."

"Oh shut up!", Eve replies, but she's laughing now. "Anyhow, what did you have in mind?"

"Well...", Elena starts. "Before we get you out on dating territory, we have to make sure that you actually find pleasure in pleasuring _yourself_ again, darling."

"Oh god..."

"I know the perfect place. And before you protest - the article about that damn Shakespeare play can wait. Just take the one from last year and change a few dates and names, it's not like anyone ever reads that shit anyways."

Eve sighs. "Okay, fine. Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

 

xxxxxx

 

About half an hour later they are in the middle of London. Well, not exactly in the middle as Elena takes Eve into a small back road. It is a nice road though - more Diagon Alley than Knockturn Alley. Eve keeps that nerdy thought to herself though.

When they finally arrive at their destination, Elena looks very pleased with herself. Eve looks at the shop in front of her and, judged by the building itself, half-expects some dusty old book shop - on the other hand, she is well aware that Elena does not want her to _read_ , unless it's... erotic fiction?

She takes a closer look at the windows which have been darkened and covered all over with a self-adhesive film in the shape of a big red apple and a green snake. Her eyes rest on the name of the shop - _Forbidden Fruit_. Classy.

"It's a sex shop, isn't it?", Eve sighs.

"Whoa, Eve, now I know why you became a journalist. You're so good at putting two and two together", Elena says with a wink.

For a second, Eve deliberates putting an end to Elena's mission. She has never been to a sex shop before and she had never planned on stepping foot inside one. As uptight as it was, she had always made certain _assumptions_ when it came to such places. Creepy old dudes buying porn, dolled up shop assistants trying to talk you into buying XXL dildos... probably also an uncomfortable smell, like a mix of sweat and cold smoke and lube and joss sticks. Ugh.

"Do not wrinkle your nose like that, Eve Polastri. Follow me!" Elena orders, and before Eve has time to think, she follows her co-worker and the bell on the door rings to announce their arrival. There's no turning back now.

The first thing Eve notices is that there is indeed a certain smell within these walls, but it's not at all what she had expected. It actually smells very nice - although she has no idea how to describe it. It's like a really good perfume. If you found a sample in your Glamour, you'd want to buy it the next day.

Eve is actively sniffing some more while taking a first look around the shop that is in fact much brighter on the inside than Eve had expected. She can already see all kinds of colorful sex toys on display but so far she hasn't spotted any pornographic images or inflatable dolls. What a relief.

"You like _La Villanelle_?"

Eve and Elena turn around at the sound of the female voice behind them and Eve is, once again, pleasantly surprised. The shop assistant does not look like a former prostitute who has smoked a bit too much throughout her life - in fact the woman must be in her mid-twenties and has a very natural style. To be truly honest, she is absolutely beautiful, has very delicate features. Her eyes are sort of cat-like. And damn, her skin is so smooth and bright. What products is she using? Is she selling them here? Eve already knows she'd buy _that_ skin care.

"Who?", Elena asks and brings Eve back to reality.

" _La Villanelle_ ", the assistant answers, smiling. "It's a perfume", she adds. "The smell of seduction, as I'd like to call it. Legend has it that you can get anyone into bed wearing that scent, no one will be able to resist you."

Was that a Russian accent?

"Oooohhhh", Elena says excitedly. "Hear that, Eve? I knew it was the right decision to come here."

"Uh huh", Eve replies. Is that a fucking blush creeping up her face? This whole sex shop scenario is still making her uncomfortable. She doesn't want to look like someone who has a ... a ... _problem_ in that department. I mean, isn't that why people came to a sex shop? Because their sex life was shit?

Who was she kidding. Her sex life _was_ shit. She just didn't want that woman to think it was.

"Let me know if you need my help with anything, okay? And don't be shy, you can try all the toys that are on display, they all have batteries inside."

Eve is laughing nervously now. "That'd be a bit too private now, wouldn't it?", she says jokingly.

The assistant looks at her, a little puzzled but still smiling.

"Have you been to a sex shop before?", she asks, even though it is clear she already suspects the answer. There is no judgement in her voice though.

"You definitely haven't been to mine, I'd remember you."

Stop blushing, Eve.

"Oh, it is actually _your_ shop?", Elena asks curiously. "That's so cool. I really love the name, did you come up with that yourself?"

Eve is so thankful that Elena is doing the talking, she feels like an idiot.

"I did", the woman confirms proudly. "It's fun to play with biblical fantasies sometimes, isn't it?"

Eve's eyes travel from the woman's face down to her white t-shirt that has the shop's logo printed on it. The red apple highlights her tits, which are - of course - also amazing. Intimidating. She almost misses the name tag next to the red apple: _Oksana_. Interesting name.

"So, just to let you know", Oksana continues. "On this floor we have the general toy section. All kinds of dildos, vibrators, toys for men, toys for women, toys for couples, lubes, massage oils - I could go on, but see for yourself. Upstairs we have our fetish section. Anything you can imagine - bedroom bondage kits, blindfolds, gags, sex swings, spankers, ticklers, nipple and clitorial toys and - if you're into that - all kinds of cool masks. I have a new pig's mask that I'm a big fan of."

Elena chuckles, Eve just stares.

"Downstairs there's lots of DVDs and stuff, but who am I kidding, you get porn for free these days so people usually don't go down there anymore. I'm going to get a big lingerie delivery next week and will probably get rid of most films to make more room for that."

"Cool! Thank you so much, Oksana", Elena replies for the both of them. "We are actually just looking for something you can use on your own, something like a vibrator - anything you can recommend?"

Eve thinks she can see Oksana's eyes light up at that question which is only confirmed by an excited nod and a chipper "But of course, follow me!"

They are stopping in front of a big shelf with dildos in all kinds of colors and shapes.

"So who is it for, you or your silent friend here?", Oksana asks, smirking.

Elena looks at Eve expectantly who finally clears her throat.

"It's, um, for me. Although I don't really _need_ anything. It was just a silly idea. We were having a milkshake earlier and... yeah, you know how it is. Girls being girls", Eve says and wants to slap herself.

"Of course", Oksana replies and Eve is sure she does _not_ know how it is because she has an entire fucking store full of toys and fetish stuff and smells like a goddess. Also, _girls_? She is 46 years old.

"Well, Eve - that's your name, right? - what are you looking for in a sex toy? Do you prefer vaginal stimulation or clitoral stimulation?" Oksana asks as if they were talking about their preferred ice cream flavors.

Eve takes a deep breath because she can be cool about this. She _can_.

Elena has to bite her lip to hold back a laugh and Eve knows she is enjoying this far too much.

"Clitoral", Eve says with as much confidence as possible and is very proud of herself.

Oksana smiles at her and winks as if she wants to say "well done", which is cute but also absurd considering she's that much younger than Eve and still so much more confident.

"Okay, Eve. If you want to try something really effective, I can only recommend _this_ ", she says, pointing at something that looks like a tool your doctor would use to examine your ear.

"It's brand new and it is said to have a 100% orgasm guarantee."

"THAT's what we want!", Elena jumps in, immediately grabbing the toy to examine it more closely. "How does it work?!"

Oksana shows Elena where to turn it on. 

"Well, it's pretty impressive", she explains almost excitedly, "because it provides touch-free clitoral stimulation."

"Touch- _free_?" Eve asks, and she can't deny she's intrigued. The fact that Oksana talks about it as if it's the best thing she's ever experienced only adds to the fascination.

"It is a pressure-wave toy. You might think it's a bit like a vacuum or suction, but it works with pressurized air pulses. It mimics the feeling of suction to a certain degree but there's a little nubbin' in there moving rapidly in a small space, so there's actually air coming out, not coming in."

"Wow...", Elena whispers, testing the different levels of pressure against her hand.

"Let me tell you, Eve. You should try it in the bathtub... It's amazing." Oksana is biting her lower lip and seems to be lost in thought for a second, and Eve is quite sure that the shop owner's voice has gone an octave lower than before. Damn, she is good at her job.

Eve feels her heart beat a little bit faster when Oksana steps a tiny bit closer and they are facing each other.

"Is it okay if I show you, Eve?"

Elena gasps and Eve feels her hands get sweaty.

"Um... show me?"

"Yes", Oksana says, smiling. "Holding a vibrator or any other stimulating sex toy against the tip of your nose gives you a really good impression how it might feel against your genitals."

"Oh, right, I knew that", Eve lies. "Go ahead."

Oksana turns the " _Satisfyer_ " on (of course that's what it would be called) and comes closer.

"This is level one", she says as she holds it against Eve's nose. And wow, she does feel more than she had expected. And Oksana smells _so_ good.

"And level two... and... three ..."

The toy gets louder and the vibration on Eve's nose becomes more intense. She tries to imagine that feeling on her clit and it actually excites her more than she'd like to admit. Oksana is smiling brightly now, a dreamy look in her eyes as if she were witnessing something beautiful and pure.

"Um, okay, I think I... I think I got a pretty good idea, thank you, Oksana", Eve says, stepping back.

"It goes up to level five", Oksana adds. "It's... _intense_."

"It certainly _looked_ intense", Elena confirms, biting her nails to, once again, hold back a laugh.

Eve clears her throat, suddenly highly aware of the situation and the awkwardness of it all. She did not want to share something so personal with her co-worker and a complete stranger. No one should know what she did or did not do in bed. This was a stupid idea.

"I'm sorry, but I think it's too loud for me", she says to put an end to it. Level three _was_ making funny noises and she could only imagine what level five sounded like.

"Are you sharing a flat with someone?", Oksana asks curiously.

"She's living on her own, she's going through a divorce", Elena answers for Eve and if looks could kill, Elena would be dead now. Stabbed and bleeding on the floor.

"Oh okay, then why is it too loud for you, if you don't mind me asking, Eve?"

"I...", Eve starts... "I just get easily distracted."

Oksana raises her eyebrows, then nods.

"I see, well, it takes time. If you're not used to toys or pleasuring yourself in general, it might feel odd at first. It's all about letting go, shutting off your mind, you know? I get it can be difficult, especially if you're going through a rough time."

The divorce wasn't rough. She wasn't crying herself to sleep or anything. This was turning into a pity party and Eve didn't like that at all.

"Thank you, but I'm fine. I'm _fine_."

"You want to try something silent instead?", Oksana tries again, but Eve is not in the mood anymore.

"I appreciate that, but I think I'm going to head home now, I have an article to write."

"Oh, you're a journalist", Oksana asks, "what do you write about?"

"Really, really _boring_ stuff", Eve answers, now with a fake smile on her lips, and for a second she thinks she can see Oksana and Elena share a look that says something like "oh wow, she _is_ frustrated, isn't she?"

"So, Elena, are you coming?", Eve asks, adjusting the bag on her shoulder to get ready to leave.

"I am, but you won't be", Elena says shrugging, earning her a small chuckle from Oksana.

"I'm sorry. Unprofessional", Oksana grins and leads the two women to the door.

"Before you leave, take this", Oksana quickly adds and hands Eve a tiny bottle of something. Eve is about to say that she doesn't need any lube or oils, but then she reads the words _La Villanelle_ and has to smile despite herself.

"Just a sample", Oksana says. "Maybe I'll see you again."

It's more of a statement than a question.

"Thank you, Oksana. Have a great day."

When they close the door behind them, Elena slaps Eve on the back of her head.

"You are a piece of work, Polastri, you know that? Don't expect me to help you ever again. Enjoy your entirely touch-free and orgasm-free life."

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

It's late and Eve can't sleep. Again.

She has written a perfectly boring 700 word article about the new production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, using words like _enchanting_ and _dazzling_ and _memorable_ , and Eve feels so tired. She hates it so much, feeling exhausted and still not being able to sleep.

If Eve is truly honest with herself, she does miss being touched. She does miss passion. But passion had left her marriage years ago and, after a while, it had even left herself.

She misses dating, misses the excitement. She can barely remember what it's like, considering her last first date was more than 15 years ago.

She vagueley remembers getting ready, picking the perfect outfit, the perfect perfume, wondering if anything was going to happen that night.

Perfume...

Oksana had said she could seduce basically anyone with that scent. Maybe she could actually... seduce herself?

Eve jumps out of bed and rushes over to her purse. She empties the big bag on the bedroom floor and smiles when she finally sees _La Villanelle_. She opens the tiny bottle and puts an equally tiny drop of liquid on her wrist, another one on her pulse point. Then she takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent.

And suddenly she sees her.

She's right in front of her eyes.

Her perfect skin, her self-confident attitude... she can even hear her accent.

 _Maybe I'll see you again_.

Eve wonders if she'd like that. Seeing her again.

She brings her wrist to her nose once more, takes in the smell and closes her eyes.

Before she knows it, her right hand disappears inside her panties and Eve has no idea how it happens because why on earth would she suddenly want to do this? She had felt highly uncomfortable in that shop and she didn't even know this woman and... she was a woman after all, a young one to say the least...

Those denim shorts though, and those boots... how did she manage to look so casual and so cool and so pretty at the same time? It wasn't fair.

She probably had an amazing sex life. Probably had a super hot boyfriend with great abs... Abs... she should focus on abs... Channing Tatum... yes, she had tried that once, picturing him while touching herself... it had almost gotten her somewhere... She pictured him stripping... maybe a lap dance? Yeah, a lap dance would be nice... Come on, it can't be that hard.

She keeps touching herself, keeps circling her clit with her middle finger, but ... it won't quite work, as always.

Come on, Eve. Think.

Or maybe don't think?

What did Oksana say?

Let go? Clear your head?

Okay, think of nothing.

Oksana.

She probably knew how to get herself off. She did in the bathtub, that's what she told her.

It's wrong to picture her in the bathtub, isn't it? She doesn't even know her.

How creepy, that woman is a stranger, she was just doing her job, she just wanted to sell a damn toy and not be turned into the protagonist of Eve's sexual fantasies.

But then again, she doesn't know Channing Tatum either, and she does seem to be getting a little wet, so that's a good sign, right?

Bathtub...

Oksana in a bathtub...

... whispering things with a Russian accent... oh god...

... she did have nice hands... long fingers... _fuck._

Eve jerks her hand away as if her clit were suddenly on fire.

No, no. This would get her nowhere. She would not masturbate about a stranger. She had gone two years without an orgasm, she did not have to force it now.

She would find someone she could date and who would reignite her spark.

Then they'd have normal sex.

Eve straightens her pyjamas and pulls the blanket all the way up to her chin before turning off the bedside lamp.

...

After five minutes, she turns it on again, grabs the perfume, puts a drop on her pillow and quickly turns it off again.


	2. I touch myself

“ _Anorgasmia is a type of sexual dysfunction in which a person cannot achieve having an orgasm either alone through masturbating or with a partner... can often cause sexual frustration in relationships... far more common in females than in males... often caused by anxiety and an inability to be able to relax during sexual relations... hormonal imbalances... spinal cord injury, childbirth trauma, vulvodynia and cardiovascular disease“_ – okay, what the...

“ _Treatment begins with an orientation of your genitals using a mirror and touching exercises to begin familiarizing one's self with their feel, look and responsiveness.“_ \- oh come on, seriously? Eve pictures herself sitting on her bedroom floor with a fucking mirror between her legs and it does _not_ sound enticing in any way.

" _Once you are comfortable enough touching yourself without trying to achieve an orgasm you can then move to the stage of trying to touch yourself to achieve an orgasm._ “ Eve's frown deepens.

“ _Remember to try and fantasize about something relaxing or sexual.“_ \- No shit, Sherlock!

“ _The two elements needed to achieve an orgasm are arousal and relaxation. If you are still struggling to achieve the orgasm, consider buying a starter vibrator to aid in this step... a vibrator can act as an aid between your hand and your genitals for comfort."_

"What are you working on?"

Elena's voice nearly gives Eve a heart attack and she frantically tries to close the tab, only to realize there are even more tabs open – " _16 Masturbation Tips For Everyone With a Vagina_ ". She closes the entire browser and sighs, defeated.

"Just say what you have to say, Elena. Get it out of your system", Eve mutters.

At first Elena smirks, but then her face becomes more serious as she touches Eve's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. But ... next time be more careful when you do your, um, _research_. I could have been Bill!"

Eve shudders at the thought of her boss realizing what she's actually been _working on_ in the office.

"And for fuck's sake, Eve." Elena lowers her voice. "At least use a private window when you look that shit up at work!"

Eve nods and makes a tortured face before slowly deleting her browser history.

"You're never gonna let me hear the end of it, are you?", she says.

Elena gives her a pitiful look. "Oh, honey. Actually I just feel sorry for you, too sorry to make any jokes about it."

Eve is pretty sure that's even worse.

 

Xxxx

 

"So, this week I have an assignment for _all_ of you", Bill says during staff meeting. Our dear Hugo gave me the idea to do a special issue for Pride month." He nods in Hugo's direction who's smiling as if he had just gotten his very first A in a maths test in elementary school.

"All right, let's see what's actually happening in the region. Let's interview people, show their stories. See if there are any campaigns or smaller festivities that catch your eye and might be worth mentioning. Oh and parties! Don't forget the parties!"

Bill seems to be excited about this, good for him.

"What about gay fetish clubs?", Kenny asks, causing the entire staff to stare at him in surprise

  
"Too much?", he adds.

"Um", Bill ponders, "no, well, if you have one in mind and if they are doing anything pride-related I guess it could be interesting?"

Kenny nods, smiling. Carolyn looks disturbed.

Even though Eve hates the fact that this is all Hugo's idea and Hugo's little moment of fame, she's still looking forward to actually writing about something that matters. Having the freedom of doing her own research and finding a matter she cares about has been extremely rare these past years. Usually Bill sends her to an event and expects her to write about it, which is not how she had pictured her journalism career at all. She had always wanted to touch people with her stories. Or provoke them. Make them think. Make them _feel_ something, whatever emotion it was.

"So", Bill continues, "I want to see all of you in my office by the end of the week, once you've decided what your story's going to be. As soon as I give you my final okay you can get to work and start writing. Have fun!"

People are slowly leaving the conference room, most of them already sharing ideas.

"I saw you looking at me", Hugo says as he's waiting for Eve by the door. "You love my idea."

Eve has to roll her eyes. "It _is_ a good idea", she says, hoping it'll get him to shut up.

"If you need any help with your article, we could talk about some ideas you, you know? We could check out the party scene together. Maybe have dinner before? It's my treat." He smirks. "We'll go somewhere fancy!"

"Hugo... let me try to say this politely." She thinks about her next words for a moment. "I am not interested in you."

"Oh come on, Eve. You don't know what you're missing", he says with a wink. "No lady has ever regretted having _dinner_ with me."

"I'm sure", Eve says with a reassuring smile. "This lady, however, prefers eating on her own."

She's leaving the room and walking down the hallway to go on her lunch break. She _is_ starving.

"You know you should relax a little, Eve. Frigidity doesn't look good on you!"

Eve feels her body tense at his words.

"You're a fucking asshole", she yells as she keeps walking. She doesn't turn around anymore, she just storms out of the building.

 

Xxxx

 

She's not frigid. She's _not_ , okay?

She knows Hugo is just being a dick. She knows he has a tiny ego and doesn't deal well with rejection. She knows he can be a misogynist idiot who has already gotten _two_ written warnings by Bill – one for abusive language and one for sleeping on the job. It would probably be easy to get him dismissed, but Eve is too tired and doesn't care enough.

Still, she can't stop thinking about his words. And Elena's. Because Elena feels _sorry_ for her. Ugh.

Somehow she has lost her appetite, but she knows she _should_ eat, so she's buying a sandwich and an apple and sits down on a bench to watch strangers passing by – one of her favorite activities.

Did any of them have trouble getting off? One of the articles she had read this morning had said that roughly 10% of women in her age group did not easily get an orgasm. Maybe she _should_ talk to someone about it. A professional? But then again, she would _not_ touch herself in front of a mirror, which seemed to be one of the most common methods suggested by sex therapists. 

Eve takes a bite from her apple. Her mouth immediately starts itching. She is allergic to all kinds of apples. Some of them are okay, but most of them aren't. This one definitely isn't 

She sighs as she's throwing it into the bin next to her. It is so annoying because she _loves_ apples.

And she used to _love_ sex when she was younger. What the fuck had happened to her?

Maybe she should have bought that damn Satisfyer after all.

Maybe she still could.

Maybe she _would_.

Oh yes, she _so_ would. She would buy it _right now_.

There was no need to feel sorry for Eve Polsatri.

 

Xxxxx

 

This time Eve feels much more confident standing in front of _Forbidden Fruit_. She is a woman on a mission. A woman with a clear goal. Maybe she'll even buy a bigger bottle of _La Villanelle_ , that's how determined she feels.

When she steps inside, the bell on the door rings again, but this time she's not sure Oksana has heard it because the music in the shop is really loud. Some late 80s or early 90s song, Eve isn't quite sure.

For a second she wonders if Oksana is even here because she's nowhere to be seen, but then she _hears_ her and decides to follow her voice.

_I love myself, I want you to loooove me._  
_When I feel down, I want you abooooove me._  
_I search myself, I want you to fiiiiiiind me._  
_I forget myself, I want you to remiiiiiiiiiind me._

Eve has to hold back a laugh when she finally finds Oksana. She's wiping the floor with a wet cloth and literally singing like no one's listening. Her voice is actually not that bad, Eve has to admit. 

She wonders how long she can stand here and watch Oksana without being noticed and coming off as a total creep.

_I don't want aaaaaanybody else_  
_When I think ABOUT you, I touch myself_  
_Ooh, I don't want anybody else_  
_Oh no, oh no, OH NO!_

Eve decides to clear her throat as loudly as possible and thankfully it seems to have the desired effect. Oksana stops singing and turns around, smiling brightly when she realizes who's been standing behind her.

“Eve!“, she greets her, getting up to turn down the volume on her pastel colored CD player. Old school. Eve likes it.

“I knew I'd see you again.“

“You did?“, Eve asks confused. “How?“

Oksana shrugs. “I think you like me.“

Eve chokes on her own saliva, coughing not so gracefully.

“Would you like a cough drop?“, Oksana asks concerned. She's opening a drawer that is literally full of snacks. She takes out a bunch of them to search for the drops – Jaffa cackes, Penguin biscuits, waffles, chocolate, sausage rolls (?!?!) - then she sighs. “I'm sorry, I don't even have any. Can I offer you anything else?“

“An orgasm“, Eve finally says and hates herself a second later.

Oksana raises her right eyebrow and then smiles, impressed.

“ _That_ was unexpected.“ 

Eve regains her composure and starts again.

“I don't mean _from_ you, well, sort of. I – oh god. I'm bad at this.“ She takes a deep breath.

“The truth is, I didn't want to do this in front of my colleague, but I do want to buy something that might help me, you know, ...“

“Get off.“, Oksana finishes her sentence.

“Yes, thank you.“

Eve only now realizes how great Oksana looks (again!). She's wearing red pants, white sneakers, a white t-shirt and bright red suspenders. Eve is totally impressed by Oksana's fashion sense. And by her smell (again!).

“Well, it's my job to help others get off, if you want to put it that way“, she says with a wink. “So, Eve, was it just an excuse when you said the Satisfyer was too loud for you? Or should we actually have a look at some other toys?“

“I guess I could try it“, Eve says, slowly. “You suggested trying it in the, um... bathtub. Surely it's not as loud under water?“

Oksana takes her lower lip between her teeth. “You remember that.“

“It is hard to forget“, Eve replies.

Oksana smiles.

“Well yes, it is not as loud under water... but Eve, if you don't mind me asking, how do you usually masturbate? Have you tried putting on some music? You said you'd get easily distracted – perhaps you should try to shut out the world for a bit with a sexy playlist. I could send you one on Spotify.“

Wow, this woman was really straight-forward. Was this a usual conversation to have in a sex shop? Eve obviously has no idea, but it did seem kind of private.

“I haven't really done it in... years. I was married, you know“, she says finally.

Oksana's eyes widen at Eve's words.

“You never masturbated while you were married?“

“Well, um... no.“

“Your husband must have been great in bed“, Oksana concludes. “Did you ever masturbate in front of each other?“

She did _not_ just ask her that.

“This is a very personal question, Oksana, but … no, ... perhaps at the beginning of our relationship, but not in a long time.“

“Hm“, Oksana replies, shrugging. “You were missing out then. No one knows your body as well as you. No one can actually bring you that much pleasure. I don't think I ever had sex with anyone who was able to fuck me better than I could have done myself.“

“That doesn't speak for your lovers“, Eve replies, feeling bold.

“Maybe not“, Oksana agrees, her frown turning into a smile.

The bell on the door rings again and a woman is stepping inside. Eve doesn't want to admit it, but she hates being interrupted by another customer. They were having an important conversation here.

Eve might be wrong, but she gets the feeling that Oksana is equally unhappy to be interrupted as she half-heartedly greets the other woman. Her top is black and entirely see-through, and she's wearing a black bra underneath. Who would wear something like that in public in the middle of the day?

“I, um... hi, Oksana“, she says, almost shy. They know each other?

“Hi...“, Oksana replies, a puzzled look on her face.

“I didn't want to interrupt, I just, um, you forgot something the other night“, the woman stutters, handing Oksana a... tie? A blindfold? Eve is not sure, but she feels like she's witnessing an awkwardly private moment and it makes her fucking uncomfortable.

“Thank you“, Oksana says politely but distant.

“No, thank _you_ “, the woman says, tugging some hair behind her ear, most likely trying to be cute. She has bangs. Eve doesn't like bangs.

“You're welcome“, comes Oksanas ingenuous reply and they stare at each other for a moment before the nameless woman decides to leave.

“Um, bye. See you around?“

“Sure!“, Oksana says, smiling. As soon as the door's closed, Oksana releases a deep breath she must have been holding for a while.

“I couldn't remember her name... Could you tell?“, she asks, looking genuinely sorry.

“Actually yes, I could, and it was akward“, Eve replies honestly. Oksana shrugs and moves over to the Satisfyers.

“Pink? Rose gold? … or....“ - she opens a drawer underneath the toy shelf - “ _penguin look_?“ Oksana is smiling like a child now and Eve can't stop thinking about the fact that Oksana might be gay or at least bi and have lots of one night stands with hot girls whose names she can't remember the next day. It is a huge distraction, even though it should be absolutely none of her business.

“Rose gold...“, she mumbles and Oksana nods as she takes out a Satisfyer in its original box.

“Good choice, I have the same one.“

_Good to know._

"Can I help you with anything else?"

"That should be all", Eve says and they walk over to the check-out.

"That's 39 pounds", Oksana says before pointing at a sign on her desk. "Twenty percent of each purchase are for a good cause during Pride month."

Eve's eyes are darting up. Pride month. Right. She had an assignment.

"What kind of good cause are we talking about?", Eve wants to know, examining the rainbow colored sign more closely.

Oksana smiles, but seems to be a little lost in thought as she speaks. "The money is for the _Russia Freedom Fund_. That's an initiative responding to state-sponsored discrimination in Russia and helps people in the LGBT community.“ She sighs. “There's a law in Russia banning gay propaganda... it's political homphobia.“ There is anger in her voice now.

“Homophobes have free reign in Russia“, she goes on. “People are afraid to organize Pride events. People aren't safe, especially teens. Adults can safely mock them, rape them, undermine them... the police won't care as soon as they find out the victim was gay.“

Eve is stunned by Oksana's words, especially because Oksana is not even looking at Eve anymore. She seems to be staring into distance, a lost look in her eyes.

“You are from Russia, aren't you?“ Eve slowly asks, trying not to cross any lines.

Oksana just nods and suddenly snaps out of the moment.

“Anyway, it's a good cause. Thanks for supporting it with your Satisfyer.“

“You know what, now that I know I'm doing something good here, add a bottle of _La Villanelle_ to the bill.“

Oksana is smiling brightly now.

“Wise choice, Eve. Wise choice.“

Eve grins and gets out her purse to pay for her new adventure. She puts the money on the table and wants to say good bye and thank Oksana for her _intense_ consulting, when she decides to screw up her courage.

“Oksana, I have one more question.“

Oksana looks at her and it's almost... hopeful? Eve might be overinterpreting here.

“Sure, what is it?“

“The Local Guardian is doing a special issue for Pride month. We are supposed to write about members of our community... I think your fundraising idea might interest a lot of our readers – it might even be great – and free – publicity for your shop.“

“Oh, okay... interesting“, Oksana says slowly, her Russian accent even stronger than before.

“I don't know, maybe you could tell me a little bit more about yourself and your background and what inspired you to support this cause... we could... do an interview... over a drink?“

Oksana is smirking now and Eve feels herself blush.

“I would like that, Eve.“

“Fantastic“, Eve says, relieved, and hands Oksana her phone. “Will you type in your number for me?“

Oksana nods and quickly types in the digits. She saves the contact as _Oksana_ with an apple and a snake emoji behind her name. Of course.

“I'll be waiting for your call“, Oksana says and Eve can't help but think she seems almost... _shy?_

"Thanks again, you'll hear from me."

"Enjoy your toy", Oksana says with a wink and her old confidence. "You have my number now, if you need any further instructions."

"Or the link to your sexy playlist", Eve replies, feeling surprisingly relaxed for the first time in a long time. She's looking at the bag in her hand (it's entirely discreet, just a general white bag with no print that would suggest what's inside) and she... giggles. Shivering with antici ...

 

...pation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I created a playlist for writing this story that only consists of songs about masturbation! #commitment
> 
> I'm happy you enjoyed the start of this story and I hope that you stick around for the rest of the ride :) 
> 
> 1 comment = 1 orgasm for Eve Polastri. You know what you have to do... ;)


	3. Level 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry for the delay.  
> I blame work, a baby and a woman. Please forgive me!

For the fist time in a long time, Eve feels quite... light-hearted? She is literally dancing with herself to Billy Idol in the kitchen, a glass of wine in her hand. Her eyes are half-closed as she's feeling the song and moving her hips from left to right. There are candles on the table, having set the mood for her delicious microwave dinner, and Eve is wearing her nicest black dress. Short and sexy – very appropriate for the occasion. And she smells amazing.

She hasn't done this in ages. Usually she'd be wearing sweat pants, having a bowl of ramen on the sofa, watching Emergency Room reruns. Or, of course, she'd be at her desk working through the night, being bored out of her mind. But why shouldn't she treat herself every once in a while? Why shouldn't she put on nice underwear or a nice dress all for herself? Why shouldn't she enjoy her food with some candle light? She deserved it! Her life had gotten at a point where it didn't seem to be her own anymore. She was living to pay her bills, to do a job she didn't particularly enjoy. She barely travelled anymore, never partied. But what did she _want_ her life to look like? She was single now, she had all options... and yet she didn't seem to have the energy to do anything about it.

Eve's gaze lands on the white bag that is waiting by the stairs. She knows that what's inside might be a first step in the right direction. It might seem pathetic to so many people, but to her it is a big deal. She has to start loving herself again – literally and figuratively – before she can figure out what she truly wants.

When the song is over, Eve grabs her wine bottle and the bag and walks up the stairs to her bathroom to prepare her bubble bath. The wine makes her feel more relaxed, maybe even a little bit giddy.

She lights a few candles in the bathroom – romantic atmosphere is important – and turns on the tap. The manual tells her that her toy already comes fully charged. What a relief. She quickly reads through the “quick start“ pages (just to make sure the thing **really** is waterproof) and starts undressing.

Eve is looking at herself in the mirror, searching for something desirable. She's running her hands through her hair, then slowly up and down her body – her eyes not leaving her own reflection.

She was too young to be in a situation like this. She would find someone she could love. Someone who would desire her.

The tub is already half-full when Eve carefully steps inside. The temperature is perfect and she enjoys the warmth that immediately surrounds her.

She gives herself some time to prepare for what's about to come, takes some of the foam into her hands and spreads it all over her arms and chest. It smells good and feels really soft.

Eve loves the feeling of her wet skin and the fact that she's almost completely surrounded by water now. She inhales deeply before finally grabbing the toy that has been waiting for her on the bathtub rim.

She turns it on, just like Oksana had shown her, and a second later it dives down to where she needs it.

And it does feel good. Eve enjoys the suction, the pressure against her clit. It feels like a nice massage.

She breathes in and out, trying to focus on the sensation.

She presses her eyes shut.

It feels good but she needs to feel more.

Seconds turn into minutes and she grows impatient. Everything's perfect, she reminds herself.

This is like a mini vacation, she thinks. A day at the spa. A sensual porno that she's the star of. Because she's young and beautiful and she can do this. It feels good.

Come on, Eve. Come. ON.

She's playing with the buttons now. Slower? No, faster. Ugh, that's, too fast.

A little more to the right? Yeah, that's good. But... no, the other position was better. Or, was it?

Eve sighs. Vacation. Letting go. Can't be that hard.

100% orgasm guarantee, Oksana had said, hadn't she? She can't be the only exception.

Eve tries tensing all the muscles in her body as her left hand grabs the rim of the tub, her knuckles turning white. She's pushing up her hips, trying to feel as much as she can and it feels great but it's just _not enough_. She's trying too fucking hard.

With a loud and annoyed groan she gives up and turns off the toy. She feels sweaty, even though she's already in the water, but she doesn't feel satisfied at all.

“ _You have my number if you need any further instructions_ “, she hears Oksana's voice in her head.

Desperate and pissed off, Eve grabs her phone and opens her messenger.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

**Eve [11:45]:**

Hi. This is Eve. Eve Polastri. I work for the Local Guardian?

 

**Oksana [11:46]:**

Hello, Eve. This is a very formal introduction. I sold you a sex toy today. How are you?

 

**Eve [11:46]:**

I'm good. Thanks for asking. How are you?

 

**Oksana [11:46]:**

It's almost midnight!

 

**Eve [11:47]:**

Did I wake you?

 

**Oksana [11:48]:**

No, just wondering if this is going to be a professional conversation at 11:48 or a private one. To make sure I act appropriately. ;)

 

**Eve [11:48]:**

Umm...

 

**Oksana [11:49]:**

Professional?

 

**Eve [11:49]:**

I do want to interview you professionally.

 

**Oksana [11:50]:**

Now?

 

**Eve [11:51]:**

No.

 

**Oksana [11:51]:**

Thought so... How can I help?

 

**Eve [11:52]:**

I … don't know. I'm sorry, I don't even know why I texted you.

 

**Oksana [11:53]:**

Did you have a good night?

 

**Eve [11:54]:**

You could say that, yes. I had dinner, listened to some music, took a bubble bath...

 

**Oksana [11:54]:**

And still no orgasm?

 

**Eve [11:56]:**

No.

 

**Oksana [11:57]:**

What are you wearing?

 

**Eve [11:57]:**

… I'm not into phone sex.

 

**Oksana [11:57]:**

Okay - a) everyone is, b) that is not where this is going.

 

**Eve [11:58]:**

All right. Um, I'm wearing pyjamas now. It's late.

 

**Oksana [11:59]:**

Do you feel sexy?

 

**Eve [11:59]:**

Not at all.

 

**Oksana [12:00]:**

When do you usually feel sexy?

 

**Eve [12:00]:**

I don't know how to answer that.

 

**Oksana [12:01]:**

Try honesty, Eve. We're just two adult women texting. There's no TMI or any of that bullshit.

 

**Eve [12:02]:**

I can't say I ever feel truly sexy... Maybe during sex, when my partner tells me that I am.

 

**Oksana [12:03]:**

Well, you are sexy. Especially your hair – wow. And you have a really nice body.

 

**Eve [12:03]:**

Okay. Um. Thank you?

 

**Oksana [12:04]:**

You are welcome. Now back to what you were wearing – I think you should get naked.

 

**Eve [12:04]:**

And why is that?

 

**Oksana [12:05]:**

Because you're at home, alone (I suppose), and there is absolutely no need to hide your body from anyone. You have a sexy body. You should look at it, feel comfortable in it, touch it... So being naked could be a first step.

 

**Oksana [12:08]:**

… still undressing?

 

**Eve [12:09]:**

No, I mean. I have. Naked now.

 

**Eve [12:10]:**

Can't believe I just wrote that.

 

**Oksana [12:10]:**

Relax, Eve.

 

**Eve [12:11]:**

I'm so relaxed.

 

**Oksana [12:11]:**

;) ;) ;)

 

**Oksana [12:12]:**

Now tell me what you like about your body. Describe it to me.

 

**Eve [12:13]:**

You cannot be serious....

 

**Oksana [12:13]:**

?

 

**Eve [12:14]:**

Okay, you are serious.

 

**Eve [12:15]**

Fine then, whatever. I guess I have good skin? Considering my age?

 

**Oksana [12:16]:**

You do, I noticed that right away. I'm sure it's very soft? Touch it.

 

**Eve [12:17]:**

Yup. Soft.

 

**Oksana [12:17]:**

Where are you touching yourself?

 

**Eve [12:18]:**

My arm...

 

**Oksana [12:18]:**

Well, it's a start I guess. What else do you see that's beautiful?

 

**Eve [12:19]:**

Um... my... I do see my boobs and they look... all right?

 

**Oksana [12:19]:**

You have amazing tits!

 

**Eve [12:20]:**

…

 

**Oksana [12:20]:**

Touch them.

 

**Eve [12:21]:**

Oksana, I thought this wasn't … going **there**.

 

**Oksana [12:21]:**

Where do you think this is going? I'm not going to call you and moan into your ear, I am just helping you. Extra customer service. ;)

 

**Eve [12:23]:**

All right, all right. Touching them. Actually feels nice.

 

**Oksana [12:23]:**

Pinch a nipple.

 

**Eve [12:24]:**

Um...

 

**Oksana [12:25]:**

You don't have to comment on everything. I know your instincts tell you to protest. But just do it, okay?

 

**Eve [12:26]:**

Okay...

 

**Oksana [12:27]:**

Now get that Satisfyer and turn it on... put in on one of your nipples, close your eyes and think of someone you find really attractive. Imagine it's their mouth.

 

**Eve [12:28]:**

Channing Tatum?

 

**Oksana [12:29]:**

Whatever floats your boat I guess...

 

**Eve [12:30]:**

No, I'm joking. Been there, done that – didn't work. Thinking of someone else now.

 

**Oksana [12:31]:**

Good! Now think of him sucking your nipple...

 

**Eve [12:32]:**

Her.

 

**Oksana [12:32]:**

Oh.

 

**Eve [12:35]:**

Speechless?

 

**Oksana [12:36]:**

Surprised.

 

**Oksana [12:37]:**

… What is it doing to your body? Does she make you feel good?

 

**Eve [12:38]:**

She does. She's quite... experienced.

 

**Oksana [12:38]:**

That's good. Now let her suck the other nipple.

 

**Eve [12:39]:**

Got it.

 

**Oksana [12:40]:**

How are you feeling? Are you wet yet?

 

**Eve [12:41]:**

Jesus, Oksana. I can't believe I am doing this and I feel the need to point out that I might not be able to see you ever again, let alone do a professional interview with you.

 

**Oksana [12:42]:**

Or you could just not worry about any of this and let yourself go once in a while. I can help you... and I still want to meet you for a drink. Interview or no interview.

 

**Eve [12:43]:**

Okay...

 

**Eve [12:44]:**

And yes, I'm wet.

 

 

**Oksana [12:45]:**

Good. Spread your legs. Start massaging your clit a little, softly. Until it feels really nice. Try to relax your breathing. And now think of **her** doing that to you. Think of her kissing your neck while she's touching you there.

 

**Eve [12:46]:**

She's really hot...

 

**Oksana [12:46]:**

I'm sure she is. Does she have great hair?

 

**Eve [12:47]:**

Very nice hair. Blonde.

 

**Oksana [12:48]:**

I'm sure she wants you just as much as you want her. And she'd love to show you exactly how much.

 

**Eve [12:49]:**

mmhh

 

**Oksana [12:50]:**

Put that Satisfyer on your clit. Level 2.

 

**Eve [12:50]:**

Feels really good.

 

**Oksana [12:51]:**

It's her mouth. If you open your eyes for a second, you can see her blonde head between your legs.

 

**Eve [12:51]:**

Oh god.

 

**Oksana [12:52]:**

Level 3, Eve.

 

**Eve [12:52]:**

'kay, boss.

 

**Oksana [12:53]:**

Feel how good she is? She's greedy. She wants more of you. Level 4.

 

**Eve [12:54]:**

Why is it so much better than last time I tried?

 

**Oksana [12:54]:**

Because now it's with **her**.

 

**Eve [12:55]:**

Good point. It feels... intense.

 

**Oksana [12:55]:**

It should. She's sucking your clit and she knows exactly how you like it. But then she's stopping for a second, to look at you. And your eyes meet hers – she's smiling. And then she's telling you that she can't wait to make you come.

 

**Oksana [12:56]:**

Level 5, Eve. Finale.

 

**Eve [12:57]:**

Oh fuck.

 

 

Xxxxxxxxx

 

 

Eve is shaking. She's fucking shaking and she's out of breath. That damn Satisfyer is still buzzing next to her on the blanket but she doesn't even have the energy to turn it off.

What on earth just happened?

She feels the sweat on her forehead, the wetness between her legs... and she feels amazing.

Her phone is laying on her belly, moving up and down with each heavy breath she's taking.

For a second she feels almost ashamed for what she's just done. Not the act itself, but the fact she did **that** with a complete stranger talking her through it. But then again, this woman has probably seen and done it all, this was probably a completely casual chat for her, a walk in the park.

Eve can still feel her heart beating loudly in her chest and catches herself smiling. Damn.

She grabs her phone and doesn't even know what to say. She can suddenly understand why that woman at Forbidden Fruit had felt the need to thank Oksana for their night together. It had seemed silly at the time but it made total sense now. If a few words could cause this kind of reaction in her, she could only imagine what actual touching would do.

There is a new message.

“So what did you have for dinner?“

Okay, yes, this was definitely a casual chat for Oksana.

“Shepherd's pie“, Eve replies, fingers still shaky.

“Sounds delicious. I've always wanted to make it myself but never tried.“

“I can send you the recipe?“

“I would love that!“

Eve has to smile and shake her head. Then, before she knows it, she's typing the message she had wanted to avoid.

“Thank you for this, Oksana. It felt really good.“

Awkward.

She can see Oksana type and she's pretty sure she will get another “You are welcome“ in return, but when she sees the message, her heart stops.

“You pictured me, didn't you?“

 

 


	4. Bourgogne Blanc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, sorry, I know it's been ages. This time I'll blame a beach and a pool and cocktails.  
> Grab a drink!

Fucking unbelievable.

Eve stares at the message for a moment longer, absolutely no clue what to reply. Yes, of course she had pictured her, but … admitting it is definitely out of her comfort zone.

She ends up typing “Good night, Oksana ;)“, knowing full well that Oksana would understand it, but still feeling a little less naked.

“Drinks tomorrow night?“ comes the prompt reply.

“I'll pick you up when you close the shop“, Eve answers, and a wave of excitement rushes through her. Is this a date?

Eve is fully aware that the main reason for meeting Oksana is (or rather _should be_ ) her article, but whatever just happened between them makes it absolutely impossible for her to stay entirely professional.

Eve knows she wants to do this again.

 

Xxxxxx

 

“Oh. My. God. … You had sex, didn't you?”, Elena asks Eve who is sitting in her office, staring dreamily at her phone.

“I... what?!”, Eve replies, feeling called out. She didn't even _have_ sex.

“You fucked someone and now you're looking at their texts and pictures, admit it! I know that look, hell, I probably even _had_ that look when I sexted with this amazing guy in New York City. His dick was gorgeous...”

Eve makes a face of horror and disgust, quickly shoving the phone in her pocket.

“I didn't have sex”, she states truthfully. Of course she had had sex with herself, but that's not the same.

“Whose texts did you read then?”, Elena pushes. “Tell me!”

“My mother's. She sent pics of her dogs”, Eve lies.

“Oh really? Show me.”

“Phone battery just died, sorry.”

Elena bursts out laughing.

“Right, of course it did. Okay, fine. You don't want to tell me. I get it. But tell me one thing – was it better than vanilla sex with Niko? Come on! Let me have _something_ on this shitty day.”

Eve rolls her eyes. “You're such a pain in the ass.”

Elena smiles brightly as if this was the highest compliment. “I know!”

“I didn't have sex. I did, however, buy that toy we saw and had a good time with it.”

“Oh God, I'm so relieved! I was so worried!”, Elena replies. “But that still doesn't explain your heart eyes... or were you looking at pictures of vibrators? Objectophilia is a thing, you know?”

“You're watching too many weird YouTube channels, Elena.” Eve sighs, defeated. “I was texting with someone but it doesn't mean anything. It's not going anywhere.”

“Why not?”

Well, why not? First, there's the obvious age difference. Secondly, Oksana probably has lots of lovers who can give her exactly what she needs. And Eve doesn't have much to offer – especially when it comes to sex with women... definitely lacking experience in that department.

“I don't think that other person is actually interested in me. They might just be nice, without any serious intentions.”

“I see you using gender neutral expressions and pronouns, Polastri. Don't think I don't notice these kinds of things.”

Ugh, it's nearly impossible to hide things from Elena. That's why Bill always lets _her_ do the remotely interesting interviews for the Local Guardian while Eve writes about supermarket openings.

“Are you going to see _them_ anytime soon?”, she asks.

Eve sighs heavily. “Tonight.”

“Oh hell yes! Go get them, Polastri. Have some wine!”, Elena adds with a wink.

Yeah, yeah, she's referring to that one office Christmas party. Let's not dive into that.

“Will you let me work in peace now?”, Eve asks, exhausted.

“Of course. I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow over lunch.”

“But tomorrow's Saturday.”

“So? I'll pick you up at home around 12:30. You better be dressed then.”

Great.

 

xxxx

 

Forbidden Fruit closes at eight, but Eve is 15 minutes early. On the subway she had pictured 500 different scenarios how to greet Oksana (Handshake? Hug? Yelling ' _I didnt picture you, just to be clear!'_?), in the end deciding that a simple “hello” while Oksana was still working might be the safest option.

Eve enters the shop and can hear Oksana's voice in the distance, talking to a customer. That's good, she thinks. Makes it less awkward.

Considering that buying sex toys is a rather private matter, Eve comes a little closer but just waves at Oksana. When Oksana sees her, her eyes light up and she's smiling brightly before waving back. She's wearing a mustard yellow shirt that has the word “ _self love_ ” written on it in Times New Roman. Underneath the word there are two definitions in smaller letters so it looks like an entry in a dictionary. _I. Valuing yourself and putting yourself first. II. Slapping the bishop, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, sex for one, wanking, jerking off._ Eve swallows. She had put that on on purpose, hadn't she?

Oksana seems to notice how Eve's gaze lingers a bit too long on the words on her chest and winks mischievously when their eyes meet again.

There is a red leather sofa in the middle of the shop, most likely for waiting customers, so Eve sits down and looks at the different magazines that are spread on the small glass table in front of her. There's a Fun Factory catalog with the newest dildos, the June issue of “Sexual Health” (title stories: _5 ways swinging can strengthen your relationship,_ _What do your fantasies say about you?_ and _Booty Basics – Sexperts offer tips for better backdoor fun_ ) and a magazine with a guy in a dog's mask on the front page that she hasn't heard of before - “Demasque”, calling itself an “alternative lifestyle magazine” (title stories: _Top tips and picks for toy cleaning_ , _BDSM on a budget_ and _A guide to gags_ ). Eve picks up the magazine and browses through the articles. There are actually people who make a living writing about _this_ , she thinks, feeling a little jealous. Surely their day at the office must be more exciting than hers.

“Thank you so much for showing me all this”, a man says to Oksana as they walk towards the check-out. And I would love to see some of those products you were talking about upstairs. When do you think you'll get them?”

“I will call Amanda tomorrow morning”, Oksana replies with a smile. “She's usually very fast.”

“Does she also have floggers?”

“Oh, definitely”, Oksana reassures him. “They all have a mitt that can easily be attached over your arm with a buckled strap. And then you can attach all kinds of toys to it – floggers, dragontails, you name it.”

“Fantastic!”, the man says happily and Eve realizes just then that the customer's lower arm has been amputated. She feels stupid for never having thought about the fact that people with physical disabilities might also want to enjoy sex toys and needed special products.

“Here's her card, if you want to check out her webpage”, Oksana adds, “it's called Kinkability”.

The customer thanks Oksana once again, takes his bag and nods in Eve's direction before finally leaving the shop.

“Hello there, orgasm queen”, Oksana says grinning before letting herself sink down onto the sofa next to Eve.

Eve blushes.

“That was interesting”, Eve says. “I had no idea there were special sex toys for people with disabilities.”

“Oh, I'm sure there's a lot you don't know about the world of sex toys”, Oksana says laughing. “But yes, it is pretty great. Nobody should have to do without a nice little spanking every once in a while, don't you think?”

Eve clears her throat.

“Yes. Um. I guess so.”

“Where are we even going? Do I need to change? I have different outfits in the staff room, just in case”, Oksana asks, and Eve is not surprised. Her staff room is probably a walk-in closet judged by how perfect Oksana looks whenever Eve sees her.

“There's a wine bar on Hackney Road that serves great wine and grilled cheese sandwiches... not sure if you even drink wine...”, Eve deliberates out loud.

“I prefer vodka, but wine works too”, Oksana says, a serious look on her face.

“Oh, is it because you're Russian?”, Eve asks.

“No, it's because it's strong and works fast”, Oksana explains, her accent especially prominent all of a sudden.

Eve loves her accent. She imagines hearing it as Oksana is whispering all kinds of dirty things into her ear. On top of her. Kissing her neck. Touching her... Oh come on, stop it, Eve.

Something about Oksana makes Eve so fucking nervous, she starts wondering how on earth she is supposed to interview her about her past without staring at her lips and picturing them all over her body. Eve is not stupid, she knows exactly what's happening here. She is touch-starved and she really wanted an orgasm. This beautiful human being next to her, whose leg keeps casually touching her own on the sofa, has made it possible. Has given her this amazing fantasy and this amazing orgasm. She feels ridiculously close to her even though she knows next to nothing about her.

Deep breath, Eve.

“Anyways – I don't think you need to change. I like your shirt.”, Eve states matter-of-factly.

“I thought so,” Oksana replies and Eve tries not to shake her head.

Of course she had done it on purpose.

 

xxxxx

 

About an hour later, they are sitting at _Sager + Wilde_ , at the very end of the bar, a cheese collection and two Bourgogne Blanc in front of them.

Eve places a voice recorder on the table and then picks up her glass.

“Cheers”, she says, enjoying the intimate eye contact with Oksana who mirrors the action.

“Cheers, Eve. It is very nice to be here with you.”

Eve feels her heart beat a little faster. It _was_ nice. Oksana is beautiful and, surprisingly, she doesn't even feel weird about the other night anymore. Oksana doesn't make it weird at all and Eve is thankful for that.

“You are okay with me recording our conversation, aren't you?”, Eve asks and Oksana smiles.

“Of course.”

“Great. So... Oksana, maybe you could tell me a little bit about yourself first.”

“It does feel like a first date, doesn't it?”, Oksana says with a wink.

Eve smiles. “It does.”

“All right. My name is Oksana Astankova. I was born in Russia in 1993 and I have moved to London in August 2014.”

Eve is doing the math real quick. So they are exactly 20 years apart. 26 and 46. How inappropriate is that whole situation, on a scale from 1 to 10? Eve decides it's a 7.

“So you've been living in London for 5 years, currently owning a sex shop called _Forbidden Fruit_. I'm curious – how did that happen?”

Oksana takes a bite of the cheese in front of her, closing her eyes in pure delight. “This is so good, Eve. Have you tried it? Oh and you should also try the bread, it's fresh”, she adds, handing Eve a piece. Their hands are touching a little longer than necessary. Oksana's hands are extremely soft, but that's not surprising at all. Eve is sure her face feels even softer.

“Thank you.”

“Sorry, got distracted there for a second”, Oksana smiles sheepishly. “When I first arrived in London, I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted – needed – to get away from home. I had studied French and English at home, with a private teacher, so I knew I wanted to go to a French or English speaking country. I liked sex toys a lot and started researching sex shops in London. There are many, but most of them didn't give me a good feeling. I want to feel good when I buy sex toys. I want nice music, a nice atmosphere, you know? I don't just want to see tits, tits, tits.”

Eve has to laugh. She gets it. She had felt good in Oksana's shop, despite all of her prejudices. And she loves doing this interview with her. Loves getting the chance to ask her a ton of questions as if she were nothing but a dedicated journalist and not a horny divorcée who keeps fantasizing about the pretty blonde lady next to her.

“Your shop really is more than that. Very tasteful interior design and a very friendly and easy-going atmosphere.”

“Why, thank you, Eve”, Oksana says, genuinely flattered.

“You're welcome. So, why did you call it _Forbidden Fruit_?”

“Oh, I like the idea of temptation. Sex is a huge topic in our lives. We all need it, we all have fantasies, but not all of us dare to fulfill their dreams and fantasies. Society tells us that so many of our desires are wrong. Many of my customers need years to figure out what they are actually into. They come in and want a bondage starter kit because they have watched 50 Shades of Grey with their partner... Horrible film, by the way. I show them a whole lot of other possibilities if they are up for it. Most of them keep coming back, wanting to try even more new and exciting things. It opens a door for them that they have kept locked for far too long.”

Eve nods, actually seeing some of herself in what Oksana is describing.

“You know, Eve, I love being the snake. I encourage them to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, but you know, in the end it's nothing but a really delicious apple. It's okay if you're a 50 year old banker and you enjoy wearing a collar and a leash at home and want to be spanked by your wife. People don't talk about these things, it's all hush hush behind closed doors, but it certainly isn't wrong if it makes you feel this good, is it?”

“I.... guess it's not, no. You're absolutely right”, Eve says. And she means it.

“But you don't only help people fulfill their fantasies, you also decided to support a good cause during Pride month. Can you tell me a little bit about that?”

Oksana nods, biting her lower lip.

“It's something that's very close to my heart. Twenty percent of each purchase this month go directly to the Russia Freedom Fund. An organization helping LGBTQ+ people in Russia.”

She takes another sip of wine. Eve follows her example.

“May I ask why this organization is so special to you?” Eve doesn't mean to push, but she also really wants to learn more about Oksana. She's intrigued, and honestly, the feeling intensifies with every shared look and every sip of wine.

“To be honest, I did benefit from their help when I was younger. It's not easy, being a lesbian teenager in this country. I'm sure some people manage to stay under the radar and might have supportive friends and family. I wasn't that lucky.”

Eve frowns, trying to study Oksana's features.

“Would you... would you want to tell me what happened to you?”, Eve asks carefully. “It can be off the record. I can turn that thing off. I'm just genuinely interested and I also understand if this is getting too personal.”

Oksana smiles, taking the bottle of wine to pour herself another glass.

“It's fine, Eve. My father was a very... _traditional_ man. A local politician. Influential. Lots of bad guy friends. You get what I'm saying?”

“I'm not sure, but keep talking.”

“I knew he was being suspicious when it came to my sexuality and I knew what would happen if he ever found out. I tried to act normal and be careful because I had literally no support system. It's not like I could have run to the police if anything happened to me, they would just have looked the other way or – better yet – personally delivered me at my father's house.”

Eve nods, realizing where this might be going.

Oksana's eyes meet Eve's again and Oksana slowly reaches for the voice recorder to turn it off.

“One day my father wanted to pick me up from one of my private English lessons... He hadn't told me though. I usually walked alone.”

Oksana swallows, her eyes teary.

“He found me fucking my teacher in a chair in her living room.”

Eve tries to keep a straight face, swallowing hard.

“She was much older than me. Amazing hair.”

“Wow.” Eve clears her throat. “What happened then?”

Oksana tries to smile.

“This is where it gets nasty, Eve. You sure, you're ready for this?”

“I'm a journalist!”, Eve replies offended, as if she'd write about such stories every day.

“My father killed my teacher, in front of me. I tried to stop him, but he turned around and stabbed me.”

“Oh my god...”, Eve whispers. “That's horrible. I'm so sorry.”

Oksana nods, a smile tugging on her lips as she reaches for Eve's hand. She's coming closer, lifting her shirt and guiding Eve's hand underneath. Eve thinks her heart is about to explode.

“Feel that?”, Oksana asks, taking Eve's index finger and pressing it on what Eve assumes is a rather big scar on Oksana's belly.

“This is my daily reminder that I'm living a better life now. Sex, as long as it's between two consenting adults, shouldn't be forbidden. I knew the risk back then and I took it anyways. And I don't regret it. I regret that Anna is dead, but I don't regret following my heart and my desires. This is why I have a sex shop now. We shouldn't be ashamed of who or what we like. If you want to fuck two or five people at the same time, it's up to you. Male, female or anything in between. No one should be allowed to judge you, let alone punish you for what makes you happy and makes you feel alive.”

Eve is completely mesmerized by Oksana's words, barely able to process what she's just found out about the woman next to her.

“You can take your hand out of my shirt now, Eve.”

“Right, Sorry.”, Eve says, quickly reaching for her wine instead. “Still can't quite believe what I just heard... What happened to your father? Is he in jail now?”

Oksana shrugs. “I don't want to know. I don't care. I hope he's dead.”

Fair enough, Eve thinks.

“Quite a mood killer, huh?”, Oksana adds, grinning. “Want to get wasted and go to a party?”

“Err... I'm not sure you noticed, but I'm 46, Oksana. My party days are over.”

Oksana's coming a little closer, her eyes not leaving Eve's as she's pouring both of them another drink.

“Trust me, Eve, I _have_ noticed. And your party days are never over. Who told you that? Society?”

“I don't want to be the oldest person in the room.”

“If anything, you'll be the person with the best hair and the hottest date by your side.”

Well, fuck.

“Come on, Eve. It's Pride month. Have you been to a lesbian party before? Or wait, don't answer that. You're _straight_ , right?” Oksana's voice in an octave lower when she emphasizes the word in a mocking tone.

“You already know I'm not....”, Eve says, the wine making her surprisingly bold.

“You can be straight and still imagine a blonde women between your legs when you get yourself off”, Oksana states matter-of-factly. “Sometimes I watch gay porn and I neither have a dick, nor do I want one near me in real life.”

Eve isn't quite sure what to do with that information.  “Okay, that's interesting. But no, haven't been to a lesbian party before. And I'm pretty sure I'm not straight.”

Oksana is smirking now, biting her lower lip.

“Very well then, finish your wine, Eve. We're going to have vodka soon.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you ever feel like chatting about KE, find me on tumblr (bugtothefuture)


End file.
